New Moans

What are you trying to say?


Nurrghhh I bloody love this woman, you tell the lying ratbags what you think. I fought the war for these money grabbing lying buggers! I notice this image was not on the news then why would it be? They seem to dislike the truth these days.

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Sky News Bloody Hypocrites!

Didn’t Sky news just make a big fuss about being the first to broadcast from the bottom of the ocean and lots of boring drivel about saving the planet? Would that be including doing away with SKY branded disposable cups because they couldn’t possibly wash a cup in the studio? Lazy media buggers! PRACTICE WHAT…

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Take Yoda’s Advice May

Now you know I am not one for bad language but this one made me spit out my tea. Bloody meme creators making me waste a perfectly good mouthful of Tetley tea. NO I am NOT saying other teas are available this is not the bloody BBC. Ernie Grumpalot

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Politicians and nappies

About time this lot of idiots were kicked out they couldn’t organise a bloody custard pie fight in a bakery. When I think we fought two wars for our freedom and this lot of greedy little buggers want to sell their freedom to the German led EU. They need a bloody good clip round their…

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Life Explained

meaning of life

Ok you young whipper snappers let old Ernie save you some time trying to figure out the meaning of life here it is…………..   On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I…

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Mobile Rip Off


THINK before you buy a new phone! I have just seen a Tesco Mobile ad for the new Galaxy S9 at “Our lowest price ever” of £37.25 a month.   READ CAREFULLY IT’S A THREE YEAR CONTRACT   The total cost of phone £1341   Doesn’t sound very low priced to me. Then compare the…

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Hands off our pantos you PC nazis.

I feel compelled to write this after recent drama in the press regarding several of this year’s pantomimes. As a professional comedian and panto performer, I am increasingly saddened by the politically correct brigade and worse, the spineless people in control of theatres acting on every whinge they hear. You can be 100% sure that…

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